Conflicted (Luna)

[Topaz Fontain]

Topaz stepped out of the shop he was just in recently. He had come here today just to see if he could hook up with one of his girls later. She of course had agreed almost willingly. Topaz mainly just teased her over the counter. She agreed in the end. The short time of five minutes it took him to ask her out tonight. He had been with her before, however had said she was seeing someone else tonight. Topaz easily worked her out of it though, by promising her a good time. A promise he could keep fairly easily.

Stepping out of the shop he caught a flash of short purple/gray hair, he recognised so well. Running after her quickly, It didnt take him long to catch up to his ex girlfriend that he hadnt seen in a fairly long time. He caught her laying a gentle hand on her shoulder turning her around to face him, "Hey Luna. Long time no see..." Looking at her for a moment realising she was in her cosplay outfits again. She really was unique in her dress sense, its something he had loved about her. He also realised that she was still carrying around her guitar, she couldnt ever leave it at home. Taking his hand from her shoulder he put it inside his pocket again. The only girl that was off limits from him, "How are you?" He asked her a little uncomfortable. Last time he had seen her, they were having a terrible arguement resulting in their breakup. Topaz still admittedly wasnt completely over her yet.

[♥ Luna Nexus ♥]

"Alright that is a wrap!" Luna looked up from guitar, still holding the microphone within her hand, she felt it quivering in her hand ever so strangely. She never been moved as much as she had been with today's rehearsal, the song really affected her emotionally, not to mention physically as well. Her bright deep yellow eyes looked up at the rest of the students that were in the class room, they all seemed to be waiting for her to say something yet she was just standing there looking at them as if she was lost. She then let a small smile finally take form around her lips as she slowly placed the microphone back onto it's stand. She unbuckled the belt that had the guitar securely placed around her neck and removed it so she could place it back into it's protected case. "Luna are you alright...you seem a bit strange...is it the song? We can change it...I am sure the rest of the drama class wouldn't mind..."Luna looked up seeing her teacher standing there before her. The bright woman that had taught this same class for at least half her lifetime, she still hadn't given up on teaching drama or acting. She was once an actor herself, she had told this story many times before to the class. Luna had been so overwhelmed by the woman, she never wanted to leave the class again. She even found a liking for acting, something quite different from singing but none the least both tell a story within it's emotions and script.

Actually that was quite the take of why the drama teacher was using Luna to perform a song, they were doing a musical this month, one that the teacher herself came up with along with the students approval, everyone chose Luna to be the girl to perform the solo, no one else in the room really felt the could move a crowd with their vocals let alone have some type of emotional appeal to the audience the way Luna did many times before just out of playing around with her guitar. Luna never really wanting to be in drama class, she only got place into it by accident, but ever since she came and met all of these students, she found herself in a place surrounded around people that were just like her. She didn't really understand why they chose her to be the main character of the play, but humbly she accepted. It was becoming more and more obvious she was grasping the character that the teacher wanted her to portray, a girl's soul lost in music and it's through music she finds the answers to her problems in real life. Luna could relate to the character, she herself drowned herself in music hoping it could escape her from what she was feeling in the outside world.

Luna smiled again hiding something much more behind such a deeming to be cheerful smile, she placed a comforting hand on her teacher's shoulder and shook her head lightly. "No I wouldn't feel right changing the song...besides it only makes sense for her to want to sing it...I have to get into character right? I just need to practice more that's all..." Luna used that excuse hoping the teacher would fall to understand, and it seemed she fell for it. Getting up Luna grabbed her guitar case and waved goodbye to everyone. She was heading off, it was after school hours. She made her way to the girl's dressing room getting dressed into her own clothes, which in themselves appeared to be a costume, she was wearing a cosplay uniform again. This time she was a neko, she had the pair of cat ears placed on her head and everything. She loved to cosplay, even though all the students and friends looked at her as if she was a weirdo, she knew they all knew her to be "Luna" the girl that is strange yet she is one of kind, she captures everyone's attention and she is their vice president, so she is their respectful representative. They had chosen her after all, not because she is the school's nerd, but because she isn't the typical girl you would come across, they had hope in something different, not the typical nerd.

Luna walked out of the school building with her bag that contained her costume for drama and her school's uniform, then tossed around her backside was her guitar that she held dearly to life. Walking outside she headed into town, she didn't live on campus like some did. She lived with her parents and she helped them with their hotel business, being a secretary at the front desk. Her parents owned many hotels, not just in this town but all over china, they were greatly known for their luxury hotels and great hospitality. Luna had to help keep up that image, it was hard pleasing others, she had been doing that all her life. She wants to please her fans, her friends, teachers, other students, she has always been one wanting to please another. Never really once has she thought about just wanting to please herself.

Walking slowly past a few shops in town she didn't expect to run into anyone, well it wasn't impossible, but she just wasn't expecting it. She hadn't seen him coming, too oblivious to her surroundings, she was thinking about rehearsal and how she got so lost in the song she was singing she almost forgot where she was. It was then she felt a hand on her shoulder sweeping her around she saw him standing there, Topaz. The one guy on this planet that she didn't want to see. But it had been a while since they talked, her eyes fixed on his she couldn't look away. She couldn't even open her mouth to say anything, she heard him ask a question but she was in shock she couldn't breath. Staring like an idiot she finally snapped and took a step away from him still staring blankly her expressions changed and hardened. "What do you want..." it came cold, she was never one to be cold to anyone, but she had bad history with him that had her behaving this way toward him.

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[Topaz Fontain]

Topaz hadnt seen Luna in such a long time. They had been going out for a few years before he cheated on her. He hadnt ever done it intentionally. They werent excuses, at all but they both were drunk. The girl wouldnt leave him alone. He wasnt sure or not but he hadnt drank alot that night. He didnt know how he got drunk that fast at all. It took him ages to get drunk to the point of not knowing what he was doing at all.

Turning her around quickly placing his hand on her shoulder and turning her around to face him gently. He loooked at her for a moment then a gentle smile graced his face. Stating it had been a while since they even seen each other let alone talked with one another. Their relationship had ended then and there at that arguement. However he had been a gentlemen and told her himself, what happened between him and this other girl. She hadnt found out via the girl or another guy. He hadnt continued to see her having an affair, just one night. But it shattered any trust that she had for him. He understood really but didnt want it to turn out that way. He had admitted to at least his best friend. He was far from getting over her.

They stood silent together for a moment. Topaz was lost for words really. Why had he chased after her? He should of known that it would of been tense between the two. Strange they knew each other so well, however they were almost strangers. He took his hand back from her shoulder and placed it in his pocket again and sighed. Topaz bit the inside of his cheek and cringed at how cold her words were. It hurt a little to see her treat him like that, "Nothing, Luna. I seen you in passing. We havent spoke in a long time..." Topaz said explaining with a gentle smile on his face. He didnt like not talking to her. She had known him best off all putting Lixu aside. He wanted to at least be friends with her if anything, "Can we please just talk Lu?" He slipped into the nickname that he had used for her ages ago, "Over coffee or something?" Topaz? Drinking coffee? What has the world come to.

[♥ Luna Nexus ♥]

Luna stared at the red haired boy, the two of them as silent as mouses. She felt something building up in her throat, a huge lump that she couldn't just easily swallow down. Why now of all the times did he have to bother her, she had been in such a good mood, she had been chosen to play the lead part in a play in drama class and that enough was to make her want to explode with joy, but her little joy bubble went flat as soon as she heard his voice and saw his perfect face. It was like the pain and feelings all came rushing back out of no where, she hated how that happened every time she saw him, at least then he wasn't talking to her, he was busy with some other girl, but now this time he was standing right in front of her and she couldn't handle the pressure of him being so close. That was her reasons of taking a few steps back, she didn't want to stand to close to him. Sighing and looking away, was it always going to be this was between them? Was she always going to turn into a cold hearted bitch every time she saw him or one of his girls? She wasn't sure why she acted this was, it wasn't her being herself at all. She never was one to be cold to anyone, especially Topaz who had one been her boyfriend for a few years, but he was more than that, he was her best friend, they even shared a common taste in music. But that seemed to all go poof now, nothing left but cold water between them.

She looked slowly back to his face as words begun to flow out slowly from his mouth. His voice was still as tender as it used to be, she wondered if he used that not to add his looks to get girls to swoon for him. Luna wasn't one to care too much about looks, but even so he was always adorable even now as he had such a soft smile on his face. She looked away her eyes falling to the ground, he probably would know that she still was gullible to him and his cheeky smiles, she would always give into him because of it either that or his sad face was enough to push her off the edge. Looking up slowly again she tried hard not to let herself become the silly girl that she was when she was with him, oblivious to how he really was, but at the time he didn't seem to have an evil bone in his body and even now he didn't seem to be the guy who had all the girls hanging around him, the person that was standing in front of her now appeared to be the same guy she had known when they first met. She was still the same nerdy girl, a bit more mature of course, but still that side of her never really changed, it was as if old wounds were becoming uncovered along with old memories that were being brought to mind.

Luna's eyes lit up when he spoke her nickname, no one really called her that other than her parents and then him, even her parents didn't call her by that often, but Topaz usually always did. Clenching her fist tightly around her back her face turning red, she hated how he could get to her so easily just by saying a few words. "You don't drink coffee, remember?" Luna replied and fought back the urge to just snap again, she really needed to get a hold on herself. She didn't want him seeing her being a crazy maniac, then he would probably go around telling his friends about how nuts his ex is. Taking a deep breath she sighed lightly again her fingertips loosening it's grip around her bag "I want some hot chocolate, if your buying then there is no reason for me to refuse..." was all Luna said and she turned her back to him, her short cut hair swishing around as she did and she walked toward the direction of the cafe that sold the best coffee and hot chocolate in town.

[/size]

[Topaz Fontain]

He wasnt at all suprised when he stepped away from him. It was easier for both of them if they had a distance between them. Topaz could more or less restrain himself. Silence hung between them like someone had dropped a huge block of ice between them. He didnt know why, or what he had been thinking when he chased after her.

When she finally spoke it merely took a chip out of the ice. Her voice was so cold and hurtful it made Topaz cringe just hearing the voice. It didnt sound like her own. It sounded like a complete strangers. He answered her question after a few minutes saying he hadnt gone out looking for her. Just caught sight of her and decided he should tak the opportunity to talk. He hated not talking to her, he wanted at least to begin talking again. They couldnt stay in this state of limbo forever. Asking her if she wanted to get some coffee or something she replied with saying he doesnt drink coffee. He just laughed and gave her a little wink, "Still remember huh?" The wink was harmless, he was just joking. He was in no way trying to flirt with her. Smiling at her when she agreed and he nodded, "Of course I'll pay." He wouldnt of asked otherwise. He didnt let anyone pay for anything, especially girls in his presence. Including Luna, even if they had broken up and hadnt talked in a few months.

As Luna turned heading towards the cafe in town. He always went there if he was just grabbing a quick hot drink. He didnt drink coffee, and though tea was a grannies drink. So he always went with hot chocolate himself. Stepping inside the coffee shop he ordered two hot chocolates for them both. Waiting for a moment at the end of the counter while they made his drinks. Taking the tray over two their table he sat down. He also had a few marshmellows if she wished to pick out at them. He took a few and plopped them in his drink. When he added his sugars and stuff and his drink tasted alright he waited for it to cool down a little, "So then how have you been? Anything special happening?" He said breaking the ice. One of them had to.

[♥ Luna Nexus ♥]

Luna hadn't expected him to laugh let alone with in addition of a small wink, it made her forget exactly what she was going to say. Her words caught on the tip of her tongue, she just stared at him breathless unsure of what they were talking about in the first place. Even if that wasn't a flirtatious gesture but nothing more than him trying to be friendly, it was still easily able to make Luna speechless and forget what she was going to say, another thing she despised so much about him. When he had agreed to paying he walked right behind her as she led toward the cafe in town. She passed a few people, her guitar was still on her back, her tail from her neko costume swished back in forth between her legs as she walked and her little ears placed above her head seemed to twitch lightly. She knew people were staring at her as if she was some kind of weird chick. Cosplay was something that wasn't really strange in Japan, they were used to girls walking around in costumes or even guys not too add. But here in China they weren't really into that such kind of thing, so to them Luna was some kind of weirdo. But Luna was a born and raised Japanese girl, she only came to China four years ago when her dad found business here, but even then she often went to Japan just because it had been her home for many years before she came here, came here and met Topaz.

Luna sighed once they reached the cafe and she walked inside, it was a bit crowded which was to be expected since the town along with the shops and cafe's usually became crowded right at lunch time and remained that way until closing hours. But if there was some kind of parade going on in town, shops usually stayed open extra late on those special occasions. That was one thing Luna really loved about china, the parades, especially the new year parades. It was beautiful sight, the dragon was a respected creature that people often worshiped in their parades. Luna was fascinated by it all, it was how she was able to bare being in some foreign country with a different culture than she grew up on, but being here four years now she got pretty close to learning of their customs and their native language. Though she is more familiar with her own.

Luna stood beside Topaz noticing that there was a few girls staring at them, two of them were dressed in familiar uniforms and two others were just wearing casual clothing, they were mainly staring at Luna and how she was dressed weird. They started laughing and whispering among themselves. Luna only smiled and blew a kiss at them, Luna was never one to care that people found her weird, it was all apart of her charm. She even winked at them and they all gasped and a really hilarious expression came across all their faces. They hadn't been expecting her to react to them teasing her in such a manner, they had expected her to get upset or even mad, but Luna only appeared to be playing along. The girls rolled their eyes and smiled at Topaz before giggling among themselves. Luna just waited there patiently for their hot chocolate to be served. Once they received their drinks she followed after Topaz her little tail wiggling behind her, she could hear the person behind the counter laughing. Luna just ignored them and sat down at the table once they were there. She took her cup from the tray and grabbed a few of the marshmallows that Topaz had grabbed, she plopped them into her cup and one into her mouth, she loved marshmallows. She then grabbed the sugar and such to add to her hot coco and waited for it to cool down a bit before taking a sip herself. She looked around the cafe people were still giggling but they were minding their own business more so now than they were earlier.

She heard him ask a question, she could see he was trying to break through the bad tension they still had growing between them. "I've been great. I think I might be getting signed on with a record label soon they were interested in my demo cd I sent to them, you know I love to perform for large crowds, and well I also happen to currently really enjoy acting, I actually got the lead in a upcoming school play..." Luna blinked and took another sip of her hot coco, she hadn't expected to blurt all of that out as if she was just talking to him as they used to talk, she used to tell him everything and share all her excitements with him, but of course now that was different. Clearing her throat she attempted a small smile "What about you? Any new play toys?" she snickered lightly under her breath.

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[Topaz Fontain]

When they had entered the coffee shop, Topaz holding the door open for her like a gentlemen almost. Stepping in afterwards he waited in the small queue for a few minutes before getting served. Ordering two hot chocolate politely and then paying for them. Smiling he walked down to the end of the counter where their drinks were being made. He noticed a few girls staring at Luna and giggling. He knew what it was all about. Her Cosplay outfits. With a sharp pang he suddenly missed America. Everyone here were so narrow minded and not open to any new idea's. He knew that Luna had grew up in Japan, Cosplaying was something she enjoyed. Topaz always loved her strange fashion sense. Always wondering what she would turn up as the next day that he saw her. Back when they were dating.

Even though he didnt like people laughing and pointing at Luna so obviously he made no moves whatsoever to protect her from it. From past experiences she could handle things like this, fine without his help. He never got involved unless he had to. Which was like that with most girls he saw now. Another thing he loved about Luna was that she could take care of herself. That type of girl he both needed and wanted.

He laughed a little at her reaction to their laughing. Blowing them a kiss and winking, "Well that shut them up..." He said still laughing a little. She was now ignoring them just as much as Topaz was. She knew that it didnt bother her at all. She wasnt just about to change herself to suit the rest of China. Topaz had always loved that in her, she didnt care what anyone else thought. Much like him.

Topaz had eventually asked her a question as to what she had been up to lately and how she had been, since they last had talked. Life for him had been going pretty well also considering. He had alot of spare time now as it wasnt taken up by band practise, now Lixu was going solo. He listened to what she had been up to and he rose his eyebrows. He wasnt suprised much she had always been a good guitarist and had an excellent voice to accompany it, "Thats great. I'm proud of you for both things. Getting the lead and maybe getting signed. They would all be fools not to offer you a contract." Topaz said agreeing. He knew the school was doing a play. He had been offered to write the music for it but refused. That was something he could do compose his own music and was darn good at it. But he didnt take it anywhere as he absolutely hated any spotlight at all. He preferred have a little attention from his friends, not an entire country, "I'm sure you will do well at playing her." Topaz said with a knowing smile. He smiled also at the normality of the situation. It seemed just like old times when they were just spilling their secrets and worries with one another.

He took a sip of his hot chocolate just as she asked if there were any more play toys he had aquired. A bit shocked by her question he choked on his drink. Trying to choke a little gracefully. When he had his breath back he managed to answer her question, "Urh..." Topaz began not sure where to start. This wasnt comfortable talking about his many girls with Luna, "A few new ones..." He admitted with a little laugh, "Apart from them. I have a lot of free time as the band had split. Lixu has left and is going solo performing at different clubs before making his debut." Topaz explained with a shrug of his shoulders, "Nothing spectacular going on with me as always." Topaz said with a little laugh stirring his hot chocolate absently.

[♥ Luna Nexus ♥]

Luna took a small sip of her hot coco again, it was a bit cooler than before now but not by much. She still wanted to drink it while it was hot thought so she could warm herself, even thought it was getting into spring weather it was still fairly cold outside. She was dressed in her little small neko outfit, that didn't help to make her any warm. She did have her school uniform in her bag she could easily change into, but she loved her new costume too much to change out of it. She looked up to Topaz again as he seemed to take an interested in her passion all over again like he used to, he was always encouraging her to do things with her music and he always believed she could get far with it. He was always on her side with her dreams, unlike her parents, he didn't want her to do anything other than what she loved to do. Luna couldn't help but smile, a very small blush rising around her cheeks, nothing that was noticeable but she could feel her face turning a bit warm and it wasn't from the hot coco.

"Well I hope I can play her...she's not too much of a hard character to understand, not to add it's a muscial play, I think that was the only reason why I was chosen, I am usually never in any of the school plays and I never was one to be good at acting..." Luna stirred her hot chocolate slowly with a plastic spoon. She asked her question about his other girls, she didn't try to make it seem as if she was all that curious in which she wasn't but she was still asking the question anyhow. She played it off by snickering under her breath as if it was some game, when really there was some pain behind her words. She hated those girls, why couldn't he just date like any normal guy, maybe it wouldn't be as painful if he just stuck with one girl, but no he was around many. She didn't want to think that so many girls shared him at once, when a long ago she had him to herself, but then again she walked in on him with another girl, did she really have him to herself all those years? Even with the explaination he gave, she still had to wonder if he was really all that faithful to her, if he really even cared at all.

Luna was glad he didn't stick on that subject too long, he only mentioned that he did a few new ones but that was all that was said before he spoke of his best friend Lixu and how he had more spare time now that Lixu was going solo. Luna had met Lixu a few times before, they weren't anything close, just associates really, they had some common ground since they both loved music. It seemed to be a common ground she had with Topaz, he wrote music, she remembered some of the songs he wrote, but she didn't think to bring that up. Luna just smiled a little again and fiddled around with the ears that were on her head, she thought about how he didn't really seem all that different, well he was different in some ways, he had all these girls and such, but him as a person and personality hadn't really altered all that much. She couldn't understand why she wasn't still mad, she was, but she was able to talk to him without biting his head off. She wondered why that was. Was it because he was always the person that she couldn't stay pissed at for too long? "I didn't know Lixu planned to go solo, that is interesting." she replied and took a sip of her hot chocolate. "D-Do you s-still write music?" the words came out in a small stutter.

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[Topaz Fontain]

Topaz could drink hot drinks fairly well. He waited just a few minutes for it to cool before he could drink it normally. It was chilly outside so this hot drink was helping. It warmed him up a little. However once this drink was finished they would soon be leaving, unless they were going to sit around and talk. He just hoped that none of his girls walked in. However they knew better than to interupt when he was with someone else, date or not.

They were soon speaking about music again. It was something they both enjoyed. However Luna took it seriously, where as for Topaz it was just a hobby. Both writing the songs and playing them. All just a hobby. The only people he ever wrote music for was his band and Luna's on the odd occasion. However that was also when they were a couple. He always encouraged anyones dreams and made sure they got them. Lixu was already on his way there was was Luna. He was proud of them both, "I'm sure you'll be able to. Always a good time to learn how to act. Also its a musical which is pretty much your comfort zone. I'm sure you'll do great. I wont accept anything less from you." He teased. He knew she always did her best, whatever it was. Topaz said stirring his hot chocolate slowly. Taking a little sip as she asked her question. It was something he didnt expect her to ask at all. Putting his coffee down and he choked as gracefully as he could manage. When he had his breath back with the few odd coughs he answered a little nervously that he had a few new girls and left it at that. He wasnt comfortable talking about his other girls with Luna. That had after all been his downfall in the relationship. Even after explaining to her what happened that he wouldnt ever willingly sleep with another girl. It hurt them both to split but it had to be done. She simply didnt trust him anymore, there was nothing he could do about it. However over time he hoped that trust could be restablished between them. He had no reason to not trust her, he still did. Maybe even still loved her a little.

He soon forgot that topic about his girls, and then bought up Lixu who was suceeding in the music business. Just like she was. They had met a few times of course. Couldnt exactly hide his girlfriend from his best friend for too long after all. Apart from her cold attitude toward him earlier, which was to be expected. She hadnt changed much. She still looked the same, if not more pretty. Personaility apart from the odd cold remark she still was the nice girl that he knew. That knew how to have fun but still stand up for herself. He couldnt stay angry at her for long at all. Even now when he really should be hating her for not giving him another chance to make things right between them, he still couldnt hate her. The word hate just wasnt in his vocabulary, "He has always planned on going solo. I only joined the band to pass the time, and to nudge him along and get noticed. The other band members are pissed at him though." Which was only but fair. Topaz had been expecting it more or less. The rest of the members could survive on their own and recruit new players. Topaz stirrred his hot chocolate again so they powder didnt have a chance to settle at the bottom. When she asked in a stutter weather he was still writing music he stopped stiring, "Yeah, a little. Times when I'm completly bored with nothing else to do." Topaz said with a little smile, "Why?" He asked taking a little sip of his drink again. He enjoyed writing music and he knew he was good at it. He just didnt ever take it past a hobby. He gave her a little questioning look. He wondered why she was stuttering...

[♥ Luna Nexus ♥]

Luna wasn’t sure what Topaz would say to her stuttering, she knew the only time she stuttered around him was usually when they first started dating and she was always so nervous, or when she had something that she wanted to say but wasn’t sure how to say it, she also stuttered when she was lying so it was a bad habit and by now Topaz had some idea that when she stuttered it meant something. She herself though wasn’t quite sure why she did stutter, was it really because she was nervous to be talking with him again after all this time; they had gone without saying any words to each other. It was quite horrible actually, Luna wasn’t this cold to anyone, she felt bad even if it had been Topaz to ruin their relationship but in ways it wasn’t just his fault, there was things she could have done to prevent it from going to complete disaster, she could have given him another chance, sometimes she wished she had and then other times when she sees him with other girls she remembers why she didn’t.

She took another sip from her hot chocolate turning her attention toward the window, she could see that the sky was turning grey, she wondered if it was going to rain, in the forecast it did mention something about freezing rain later on in the day, she surely didn’t want to get caught in it. That made her think about memory of being with Topaz caught in the rain, she quickly erased that thought from her head, it wasn’t something she should be thinking about at a time like this. Smiling again she looked back to him, she decided it wouldn’t be too horrible if she did try to be friends with him again. He wasn’t the devil, he was human, he was a guy, people make mistakes, at the very least he wanted to be forgiven for them, she would have to figure out a way to forgive him, for now she was just going to try and be nice to him, it was too stressful for her to pretend to not want him around.

“Well he was always great at it, so I think he will do just fine…” Luna replied she laughed a little with the mentioning of the other band members being pissed, she could see that happening even with her own friends that were apart of her band. It was girl’s group, just her and a few buds that she met here, they all got into cosplay like she did, if not had already been into it before. It was what they did, they dressed up and performed and believe it or not people actually like them, even if China is still weird out by their costumes. Luna couldn’t see herself separating from them, they were like a family, they stuck together and it was the only reason how they got any interest from the music label, not by going solo but by working together. Luna loved her band members, she wouldn’t dare thinking about leaving them, but she knew somehow perhaps they would separate one day but not stop being friends.

When Topaz claimed he still did write music, she smiled and looked away another small blush reaching her cheeks, why was she being like this, as if nothing between them had ever happened, as if she had forgotten all about him hurting her, she was feeling all strange again. Shaking her head she sighed “Nothing, just curious, you were always really great at it. I don’t see why you don’t try and sell your music to actual famous people, I am sure someone would love to buy it.” Luna nodded her head assured of herself. She then giggled and shrugged her shoulders fiddling with her tail that she had in her hand now. “I guess I was kind of wondering if you still had that song you wrote me….it was a stupid thought though…”

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[Topaz Fontain]

They had eventually tried to at least try and get into some convosation. As they got into the convosation the tension seemed to lift. They could more or less be themselves like the old times. It was just too easy to slip into. Topaz just wanted to forget everything that happened between them, the more he slipped into the normality of the situation. He however couldnt, so he was on his best behaviour. When she said that Lixu would be fine as he was always good as what he did, "He will be. After all he is just the singer. You can play guitar and sing. Double trouble." He said teasing her again. She could combine them both just fine. She was a girl and could multi task, where as men werent gifted as well with it, "I'm sure you'll be fine as well, when you get signed." Topaz said with a smile. He always had confidence in her band. They played well and were unique and stood out. They were quite easily noticed. He knew of course they would be signing as a band so it wasnt just her descision to make.

She had soon asked weather he was still writing his music. Both composing and the lyrics. Composing bit was the easiest he hated the lyrics, however they always turned out well. He smiled and shook his head saying how he should sell his stuff to famous people. He would, for a very high price. However he didnt want a career out of it. Music for him was just a hobby. He just wanted a normal life with a normal job. Then eventually a normal family life, "Its just a hobby for me, Lu. I dont want to go anywhere with it. Writing songs is just for fun." Topaz explained. He had this discussion with Lixu several times when he tried to make him go public with his songs, he always shut out that convosation. Listening to her he smiled and then looked away. She was always so adorable when she was nervous. Stuttering a blushes were all proof of that. Looking back again when she asked him if he still had her song. That he had wrote for her ages ago. He was quiet for a moment and then he nodded, "Yes. I still have it. One of the many that I kept." He used to have a huge folder of songs. However now it was just one small one. He hadnt looked in that folder in a while. However he still knew the words and exactly how to play that song by heart, he kept that information to himself for now though, "Why, do you want it?" Topaz asked her. He would give it to her if she wanted it. He would re write it though as the one he had, it had many note takings on it and rubbed out pencil marks.

[♥ Luna Nexus ♥]

Luna knew that Topaz would respond as such, she had told him many times before to do something with his music but the response came as they always did, he only did it for a hobby and nothing more. Well if that was true then Luna found it a really great talented hobby he had. She loved his music, she hadn’t found any that she could say anything negative about, well she did tease him because that was just what they did to each other, but truly she loved them all. But the one in particular that she cherished the most to her heart was the one he had written for her, she had wept tears when he even attempted to sing it for her, he was better as a guitar player than being a singer but it still made her happy enough to cry. Those were times when they were really in love, at least she was, with him, such times brought back more pain and her heart ached just thinking about how happy she was. She wasn’t really sure why she asked about it, it was just something that automatically came to mind every time he spoke of writing music, she thought of that one song, their song to be exact.

Luna looked up at him her eyes looking at him, not at his pretty face, but at him and who he was, the guy that could still make her laugh if he said something really stupid or could still drive her nuts if he just got under her skin some how, he always managed to make her smile and when she was upset he was quick to make her forget the reason of to why she was upset in the first place, like now for instance, she was supposed to be hating him yet she didn’t and it was his fault, damn him. Luna took another long sip of her hot coco, it was becoming warm now. She knew as soon as the both of them were finished they would probably leave, but did that meant together or go their separate ways. If anything, even if she didn’t want to admit it, she was glad he stopped her and was glad they were talking, so many times she just wanted to walk over to him by his locker and say something, but words never came. She was always afraid she couldn’t face him; she never had any reason to be afraid of him, not then or now. She was mostly afraid of herself, afraid she would say or do something stupid, let alone all those girls watching, even if she was one to face a crowd with her head held up high, it was different when it came to love, well loving him anyways. And past all the deep and hard feelings, she still does, just not willing to admit that she does, or that all of her angry songs she written in the past had been about him.

When he responded that he still had her song, she couldn’t help but light up and smile. She wouldn’t know how to react if he claimed to have burned it or ripped it up, she hadn’t ripped up any of his pictures just tossed them away in a box and placed them on the top shelf in her closet. She never looked at them again, she threw other things up there so she could hide the box and wouldn’t be tempted to look inside it. She even placed the jewelry that he gave her in the box, pretty much she placed her heart in it and left it there to rot in silence. She was glad though that he kept a piece of her with him as she did the same. She looked away blushing again, why was she blushing? Was it because she was surprised that he did keep it or because she was glad that he did maybe a bit of both. She slowly let her eyes trace back to his face when he questioned why she cared at all. She couldn’t answer that with a straight face. Looking back down at her hands she fiddled with the tail in her hand and a blush on her face “I –I was j-just wondering if you k-kept it…that’s all….” She sighed and closed her eyes before taking another sip of her hot chocolate, more like warm chocolate. Slowly placing it back on the table she reached into her bag and grabbed her notebook, sliding it across the table toward Topaz. “It’s a few of the songs I wrote, mostly the ones about me and you some happy, some sad or angry. I thought you would want to read them… ” She gave a half hearted smile. “I am not that good at coming up with my own lyrics, usually one of my friends does the song writing…” She wouldn’t have let him read them before, but now she felt like it was okay to let him read them, only if he wanted to. She was always open with him; well she had her secrets, but nothing that wasn’t normal to keep. She mostly let him have her whole heart and everything about her, yet he didn’t protect her heart they way that she thought he would, it got damage anyhow, shattered even. She tried putting it back together but he still too many pieces of it, wounds that wouldn’t heal on their own. “Their awful aren’t they? I am not as good of a song writer as you. I only kept them because….well I don’t know why I kept them…I found the notebook in my locker the other day and threw it in my bag, guess I forgot to take it out.” Which was the truth, she had found it a few days ago and she had planned to do something with it but had completely forgotten all about it until now. She waited to hear him say something; she hoped at the very least he wouldn’t be mad.

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[Topaz Fontain]

Topaz was a little shocked when she asked about their song. He had written it but he wasnt much of a singer. He sounded like cats were being choked when he sang. So he sticked with just playing guitar. The time when he tried to sing it for her he had said he was never singing it again. Once was enough for her to listen to his terrible singing voice. Just thinking of that song made his heart ache a little. He had wrote it for her years ago. It took him a long time to get it right, and had done eventually after a very long time of trying. He laughed a little remembering that he wouldnt let her see it at all until it was done.

He looked at her for a moment and then turned away from looking at her and looked at his empty hot chocolate cup with the dribbles at the bottom. Things would just be alot easier with both of them if he didnt have any feelings for her. Of course he did but it was his own fault. If he hadnt of gone out that night, they would of more likely still of been together. Just remembering that night just made him upset thinking about it. How could he have hurt her? He didnt deserve a second chance, so he wasnt suprised that she hadnt given him one. He seen her often around school, but he didnt have the guts to walk up and speak to her. Ignoring his mental babble he looked back up at her again, her lit up face and smile to his mention of keeping their song. However it was in a folder that he barely looked at. It held all his older songs that he wrote years ago. Any pictures of her he had in his draw. He still often looked inside it, occasionally looking at the pictures. He had kept everything that she had given him or they had shared together.

He smiled when she began stuttering again and playing with her tail. He covered her hand with his own, to stop her fiddling with her tail, "Calm down. I kept it, and if you want it, you can have it." Topaz said creating a mental note to dig it out later and find a way of getting it to her. Then he looked away from her and took his hand back and placed it in his lap and leaned back in his chair. He had already finished his hot chocolate and was just waiting for Luna to finish first. He wasnt looking at her when he saw a notebook that was handed to him over the table. He turned and looked at her questioningly and then at the notebook. He took one hand and lifted it from the table. Flipping open the book to a random page and read through a few of the songs quickly. He wasnt angry, it was sort of expected that she would be pissed off at him. Reading them especially the angry ones hurt him a little, "Ouch, these are urm..." Topaz said reading through one and turning a page, "Pretty awful..." The songs were alright but Topaz could dechipher the hidden meaning in the words, "Pissed off much, were you?" Pissed off was probably an understatement. He knew that he had hurt her, now probably alot more than he actually realised. He closed the book and slid it back to her over the table. That hurt him a little bit however he wasnt letting it show at all. He could cover up the fact he was upset by the songs pretty well, "No they are good. Your just as good as writing them as I am.." Topaz said waving a hand at that. He didnt like other people putting themselves down. He didnt accept it from anyone and never had accepted it from Luna, "What are you going to do with them?" Topaz asked her just out of curiosity. He wouldnt be affected either way. If she wanted to keep the songs, it was up to her.

[♥ Luna Nexus ♥]

Didn't have any intentions to make Topaz mad or even upset, she looked at him and didn't see that anything was wrong but her gut feeling always told her not to be fooled by a disguise. She wasn't quite sure why she really did show him the notebook filled of their songs. It was just at random that she pulled them out to show him, she wasn't going to do anything with them at the moment, she was just uncovering a wound that she had left covered hoping through this it was heal finally. She had noticed he placed his hands on hers when they were fiddling around quite nervously before with her costume worn tail. She felt the warm sensation of his perfect hands against her own and that alone was enough to send a rush of electric currents all through her making her feel warm all over, just like he used to make her feel. She wondered if it was wrong of her to still feel that way about him. She knew that when it was over, it probably truly was over, he was probably over her and all these girls he had he probably preferred that lifestyle than being tied down to one girl, especially one as measly as Luna. She shook those thoughts from her head, what was she saying, she wanted him still? No she couldn't possibly be thinking such thoughts, not at a time like this, she wanted to leave the coffee shop, she hated how all the eyes that were staring at her now transformed into sharp arrow like things that were aiming at her for a target.

She waited for him to say something, he had flipped open the notebook now and was scanning at the random page he landed on. His first words to breath out made Luna winces, 'ouch' why did he say 'ouch'? That alone made her feel queasy and she sunk down in her chair pushing her hot coco aside, it only contained a little bit left but it was cold and she didn't feel like drinking anymore of it. She never really was one to finish was she started drinking or eating, unless it was something small in portion to begin with. Luna was just about ready to pull the notebook from his hands, he wasn't saying much of anything, just reading with those dark eyes of his. She felt another lump reaching her throat this time she could swallow it down as soon as he looked up to face her it disappeared. "I am sorry they are so awful...." Luna replied and she held her head down in shame. Why did she ever think that showing him those songs could be a good idea, she was probably irritating him or worst making him feel worst about what he had done. She didn't want to impose that he had to feel horrible all over again, time had passed, she would expected him to have gotten over it, well she hadn't but she figured it was because she never really let go of him either.

She laughed lightly when he claimed she must have been really pissed at him, she was more pissed at herself than him, that was the truth. She sighed covering her face with the palm of her hands, she didn't feel comfortable with him reading those songs anymore. She was surprised he said they were actually good in comparison to his own, why would he ever compare her to him, her lyrics anyways. There was no way she was going to believe that, he must of really be wanting to get her to be nice to him again so saying all these nice things perhaps it would make her easily forgive him, well yeah it was working. She took the notebook back once he handed it over and she held it within her hands for a moment before slipping it back into her book back and closing it. She looked at him and shrugged her shoulders, she started fiddling at her cat ears as she talked "Well I don't know, it's not like I am going to sing any of them. I might sing one or two, but not all of them...." She looked away from his face again toward the window and out at the gray sky. She then saw that he was finished with his hot coco. "So should we get out of here?" she gave a small smile.

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[Topaz Fontain]

Topaz read the songs one at a time. Some he didnt read all of, some about him were just to awful to read all of them. He read mostly of the nice ones between him and her. They were good songs. Topaz had been writing songs for a very long time and was extremely good at it. It was enough to have his music teacher ask him to write the music for the school play but he refused. They coped without him writing it. Getting to the really nasty song thats when he said 'ouch'. These were pretty awful. Not for the style, but merely because of knowing the meaning behind the actual lyrics, "Well not as good as mine but good." Topaz said with a little grin. The music itself was great. She had always been a good composer. It was lyrics that always stumped her, "Dont be sorry. I understand." Topaz said with a little smile. He had already apologised enough for what he had done. She hadnt forgiven him and probably wont if he said sorry again. Just by reading these made him want to apologise again but he didnt. She had heard enough of his apologies, begging for forgiveness.

Hearing her laugh when he said that she must of been pissed made him smile. At least she could joke about it now, so must of been in a way over what happened between them, "I am still sorry about that. I never intended for it to happen, and I never ever wanted it to." Topaz said handing her book back to her as he was talking. He really wanted to say that he still loved her. However he wouldnt, she didnt need to hear that from him, "I know Ive told you it before and you have to beileve me. I didnt go out with the intention to cheat on you." Topaz said and cutting himself off there. They needed to be honest with one another, if they were going to become friends at the very least. When she mentioned about maybe singing a few of these songs he laughed a little, "Well if you decide to. Please make it one of the nice ones." Topaz said with a little smile.

Silence hung between them again for a few minutes and since they were finished Topaz figured that they should both leave. He didnt make a move to though and neither did she until she spoke, "Yeah. I think we should. So we dont get caught in the rain." Topaz said and then pushing his chair out and standing slowly. Arranging their glasses on a tray so they could clean it easily they headed out of the shop, "I need to run by a music shop to get guitar strings. If you want to come along?" Topaz asked. He might as well look at other stuff while they were there.